I think I need a break from Facebook. It's controlling me more than I am controlling it.
I control the television that enters my home; I control the words I speak to my difficult customers at work; I control the radio that plays in my car. But I'm not controlling my Facebook intake or output. I'm reading things that make me an angrier person, and I'm taking the bait offered by others and expressing myself in less than gracious ways.
I just re-read something ugly I wrote in response to a political opinion posted by someone I love, and it made me so ashamed that I deleted the post.So...I think Facebook and I are breaking up! Time for Candy Crush and blogging....See ya later, Facebook...maybe!
My version of becoming Facebook-free started with 3 steps: I removed the app from my phone, I completely stopped reading my newsfeed, and I only checked notifications in the evening during my brief TV time. After all, if someone is tagging you or posting on your timeline you want to know, right?
So, a month has come and gone. Am I a better person because I broke up with Facebook? Do I have more time? Have I permanently sworn off all screens? Did my life change? Did I learn something during this Facebook-free month?
No, no, no, no, and yes. In that order.
So what did I actually learn?
1) I am less connected without Facebook.
The world, in general, communicates better via texting and social media than it does through reaI-life conversation, most of us included. Like it or not, that's just the way it is. Isolating myself from the accepted means of communication meant that I was pretty much left out of things. I missed knowing what's going on in the lives of my friends and acquaintances, and I learned that I even relied on Facebook for family news! That might be a sad reflection on my crazy family, but it's true. My Facebook friends really are, in most cases, my real-life friends, and I missed them.
2) I am not more productive without Facebook.
I am not sure what I expected on the day I uninstalled Facebook from my phone, but whatever it was, it didn't happen. I didn't walk around wondering what to do with all the hours I had freed up, and I didn't have big empty holes to fill up in my life. To be honest, it was a non-event, and I am just as busy, and just as pressed for time as I ever was. I am guessing that I probably spent an hour or two daily on Facebook, but much of it was during TV time. So now I just watch TV with no Facebook, and I really don't even do a whole lot of that.
3) I AM less angry without all the Facebook hype.
It seems that every day someone on Facebook would make some political statement that made me mad, or disappointed me, then I spent the next 20 minutes trying to craft a logical, but not-too-inflamed response to that friend. More than once I came across in my post as more direct and aggressive than I intended, risking the alienation of friends and family members. A similar incident is what ultimately prompted my month-long Facebook hiatus. I don't miss the anger this political season brought out in most of us on Facebook, and I am truly not as angry as I was when I was a regular Facebooker.
4) I don't know what goes on in the world without Facebook.
I don't watch the news unless I want to see the weather or the score from a particular sporting event. Even then, I wait until 16 minutes after the hour to tune in for the weather, or about 22 minutes past the hour to tune in for sports scores. I don't watch the headline news because it makes my heart weep to hear the awful things people do to each other. Facebook provided me with an insulated version of everything big that I really needed to know. I kind of miss knowing a little of what goes on in the world since I still refuse to watch the first 15 minutes of the news.
5) I tend to do less blogging and writing in general without Facebook.
Maybe Facebook inspired me and gave me food for thought, I'm not sure. I only know that I haven't wanted or needed to write as much as I used to. And I miss that piece of my life. Writing is the heart and soul of me, and I feel like part of me is missing when I don't let the words out in some kind of public forum.
6) I have less guilt without Facebook.
I thoroughly LOATHE posts that instruct me to re-post if I'm really a friend, or if I'm really a Christian, or if I don't want some kind of calamity to befall me. And I especially hate them when they come from someone whose friendship I really value. But no matter who tags me on those silly posts, there's a stubborn little piece of me that refuses to succumb and re-post. Then I spend the rest of the day feeling guilty and wondering if my friend will notice and be mad at me. I feel WAY less obligated without Facebook, and I'm enjoying that immensely.
7) I missed Facebook more than it missed me.
How many of you even knew I took a month off of Facebook? Pulling out of social media left a hole about as profound as removing a tiny stone from the ocean. The stone may have missed the ocean, but the ocean didn't even know the stone left.
My best advice to anyone considering shutting down Facebook? Don't do it to make a statement -- no one else will notice your statement. Only do it if you think it will better your life. Only do it for yourself.
For me? After a month without Facebook, I am happy to say....
Facebook, I missed you. I'm back, but you should know this:
I am in charge, not you.
The world, in general, communicates better via texting and social media than it does through reaI-life conversation, most of us included. Like it or not, that's just the way it is. Isolating myself from the accepted means of communication meant that I was pretty much left out of things. I missed knowing what's going on in the lives of my friends and acquaintances, and I learned that I even relied on Facebook for family news! That might be a sad reflection on my crazy family, but it's true. My Facebook friends really are, in most cases, my real-life friends, and I missed them.
2) I am not more productive without Facebook.
I am not sure what I expected on the day I uninstalled Facebook from my phone, but whatever it was, it didn't happen. I didn't walk around wondering what to do with all the hours I had freed up, and I didn't have big empty holes to fill up in my life. To be honest, it was a non-event, and I am just as busy, and just as pressed for time as I ever was. I am guessing that I probably spent an hour or two daily on Facebook, but much of it was during TV time. So now I just watch TV with no Facebook, and I really don't even do a whole lot of that.
3) I AM less angry without all the Facebook hype.
It seems that every day someone on Facebook would make some political statement that made me mad, or disappointed me, then I spent the next 20 minutes trying to craft a logical, but not-too-inflamed response to that friend. More than once I came across in my post as more direct and aggressive than I intended, risking the alienation of friends and family members. A similar incident is what ultimately prompted my month-long Facebook hiatus. I don't miss the anger this political season brought out in most of us on Facebook, and I am truly not as angry as I was when I was a regular Facebooker.
4) I don't know what goes on in the world without Facebook.
I don't watch the news unless I want to see the weather or the score from a particular sporting event. Even then, I wait until 16 minutes after the hour to tune in for the weather, or about 22 minutes past the hour to tune in for sports scores. I don't watch the headline news because it makes my heart weep to hear the awful things people do to each other. Facebook provided me with an insulated version of everything big that I really needed to know. I kind of miss knowing a little of what goes on in the world since I still refuse to watch the first 15 minutes of the news.
5) I tend to do less blogging and writing in general without Facebook.
Maybe Facebook inspired me and gave me food for thought, I'm not sure. I only know that I haven't wanted or needed to write as much as I used to. And I miss that piece of my life. Writing is the heart and soul of me, and I feel like part of me is missing when I don't let the words out in some kind of public forum.
6) I have less guilt without Facebook.
I thoroughly LOATHE posts that instruct me to re-post if I'm really a friend, or if I'm really a Christian, or if I don't want some kind of calamity to befall me. And I especially hate them when they come from someone whose friendship I really value. But no matter who tags me on those silly posts, there's a stubborn little piece of me that refuses to succumb and re-post. Then I spend the rest of the day feeling guilty and wondering if my friend will notice and be mad at me. I feel WAY less obligated without Facebook, and I'm enjoying that immensely.
7) I missed Facebook more than it missed me.
How many of you even knew I took a month off of Facebook? Pulling out of social media left a hole about as profound as removing a tiny stone from the ocean. The stone may have missed the ocean, but the ocean didn't even know the stone left.
My best advice to anyone considering shutting down Facebook? Don't do it to make a statement -- no one else will notice your statement. Only do it if you think it will better your life. Only do it for yourself.
For me? After a month without Facebook, I am happy to say....
Facebook, I missed you. I'm back, but you should know this:
I am in charge, not you.
No comments:
Post a Comment