Do you Have A Tribe?

Tribe. It's not a new word, or even a new concept, but it seems to be making a resurgence. I've heard that word at least ten times in the last week. Out of the blue. Just like that. If you're not a Millennial, this concept of a tribe might be new to you. Think of it as a team, like in a team sport. It's a group of people working toward a common goal. But on another level, it's so much more than that.

What is a tribe? Do you have one? Do you need one? Does it even matter?

It matters. A lot.

In case you have somehow missed hearing this word from every medium and platform around you, it's most commonly used to describe a group of people who comprise your total support system. The people who laugh with you and cry with you. The people who are there for you.

"Tribe" is plural, indicating it's more than one person. It's intimate, indicating these people are more than acquaintances. It responds with communal wisdom, indicating your tribe gives you direction. It's a loyal group, indicating it's based on stable friendships. It's nurturing to its members, indicating it goes beyond traditional friendships. It's unified, indicating its group thought is similar to yours.

Today's "tribe" is a modern example of believers in community as described in the New Testament. It's a group of people who meet together regularly, meet each other's needs, and take responsibility when one of the group needs help. They share a common goal or perspective.

So, I'd define a "tribe" as a group of people who know you well and who are loyal, give you good advice, nurture your soul, and hold to the same values you do. Your tribe can be a group of friends who share a common interest, like my niece, Livvy's tribe. Most of them are young moms, and all of them are involved in one particular direct marketing company. Their shared interest was fertile ground for a tribe to develop.

My friend, Amy, recently lost her grandmother, and on social media, she referred to her family--her grandmother's descendants--as a tribe who supported each other in their time of need.

The last example is my own tribe: a group of ladies, most of whom attend my church and serve on a women's committee with me. They are the women who will pray for me on a moment's notice without demanding the full story. They are the women who text me randomly throughout the day to check on me, to say they are thinking of me, to see how I'm feeling, or to share a blessing or a prayer request. These are the people I know I could go to at any time of day or night with any kind of issue without fear of being judged. These women are my tribe.

Left to Right:  Robin, Me, Diane N., Amy, Nancy, Jean. Not pictured: Cinda and Diane G.

Now, why does it matter if you have a tribe and who they are? It matters because you become like your companions. Proverbs 13:20 says this:

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
    but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

My tribe is a group of women who generally hold the same values I do, worship the same God in the same way I do, and live life the way I do. That's important because I don't want to be influenced or counseled to behave foolishly or sinfully. With these ladies who hold the same values as I do, I know this won't happen.

Here are some verses from Proverbs that give us some guidelines for what our "tribes" should look like.

Proverbs 27:6 says this:

Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
    profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Proverbs 27:17

Iron sharpens iron,
    and one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 24:6

For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.

Proverbs 27:9

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

I want to be part of a tribe who tells me the truth, even if it hurts. I want my tribe to sharpen me and make me better. I want a tribe who gives me wise counsel I can trust, and who makes my heart glad. I want a God-approved tribe, and I'm so thankful that God has placed these ladies in my life.

Is your tribe God-approved? Are you better because of them? Are they better because of you?