How Much?

When you have too much, and all of it's good, what do you get rid of?

When you've cut everything except what you absolutely cannot cut, and it's still too much, what do you cut?

To put it in trendy HGTV vernacular, if you're moving into a tiny house, and all your must-haves don't fit, what do you trash?

So, here's way more than you want to know. Here are the ingredients that make up the recipe for my life:

• Work 40 hours weekly
• Very specific food prep for lunch and dinner for 2 people
• Detox tea, B Vitamin cocktail, beet juice cocktail, all prepped to take to work daily
• Super shake preparation for daily breakfast
• Weekly grocery shopping for specific eating plan
• Parkinson's exercise class on Tuesdays and Saturdays (The Climb)
• Church, for which we pick up my 97-year-old grandmother from the nursing home, keep her all day, and return her in the late afternoon
• Nearly a 2-hour weekly round trip to the Wellness Center for a 2-hour treatment
• Occasional laundry to make sure we have clean underwear!
• Doctor appointments that have been let go, which I finally scheduled
• Blog time
• Devotional time
• Daily exercises at home

Some of the things in my "life recipe" may not seem important to you, particularly the food prep, but each life ingredient is a well-considered and essential part of my wellness program (which, by the way, might be starting to work!). God brought me to exactly this point at exactly this time... i.e., I'm pretty sure it's all non-negotiable.

But it's too much if I want to get better.

And nothing can go if I want to get better.

I know all the things I'm doing are the things I am supposed to be doing, but I'm tired. There's no time for housekeeping, no time for yard work, no time for hobbies, no time for visiting family and friends, no time to take care of personal business. Nothing gets done in the house, and it's depressing and discouraging to me.

No time. That's the dilemma, and I don't know the answer.

Maybe I just live with it for now, I don't know. My husband told me yesterday that he could tell I was getting better; that I have more energy and look better. Some days I think he's right. Some days I'm not sure. I'm only beginning my new protocol with the Wellness Center and Yolanda and Joshua, and I am willing to see it through.

Since I don't know what to do, I think I'm going to keep on track and count on God to supply the strength. After all, He brought me this far. If I'm wrong, I know He will re-direct me.

But I don't think I'm wrong.