It's Always "Thank You"

Buttons and fasteners and snaps, oh my!

And...belts and hooks and clasps, too.  As a matter of fact, fasteners of all kinds give me fits when I'm trying to get ready for work in the morning. Parkinson's Disease affects my coordination and fine motor skills. By the time I dress for work, my husband is usually gone, so there's no one to help me put on jewelry or fasten clothing. Most of the time, I am trying to hurry at that point in my morning, and my fingers and hands aren't cooperating! I'm ashamed to admit that in the past, I have occasionally been reduced to tears simply trying to put on my clothes and jewelry.

About a year ago, I began to pray about fastening things as I was putting them on, and I learned that God is pretty good about buttoning and snapping and clasping things.  Unbelievably, He cares about helping me get ready for work. I don't know why that surprises me so much, when the book of Matthew tells us He watches over the sparrows and the lilies of the field.

I remember a milestone in my thinking on this subject last year. I realized I had been trying to do it all myself, and only asking God to help me after I had exhausted my own resources and could not do it on my own. God wants to be my first resource, not my last. He wants me to ask Him for help, even if I think I can do it myself. He wants me to give up my self-sufficiency and learn to count on Him. I learned that everything was either going to be a cry for help, or if I had the ability to do it myself, a thank-you to Him for giving me that ability. There would be no more excluding him from the process of getting ready each day. I determined it would always be a "help me, please" or a "thank you for giving me the ability to do this today." No more doing it on my own, and feeling proud or accomplished at my work.

Today I think I learned one more thing, took one more step in my understanding, and here it is: Even if I have to ask for help, it's still a "thank you."

This is a hard one. I am not prone to thanking God for the hard things, right in the very moment when they are hard. Maybe I can thank Him a year later, or a month later, or even a day later...maybe. Even then, it's not always easy. But to thank Him right in the middle of difficulty? That takes a grace and humility I'm still working on.

But it's what we are called to do, and we can do it by faith, based on the promises in His Word. We're just thanking Him ahead of time, either for the discipline we are learning (Hebrews 12:7), or for the knowledge that He is working all things together for our good (Romans 8:28), or for the fact that He is developing character in us (James 1:2-4).

Ouch.

Thank you, Lord, for helping me fasten my clothing. Thank you, Lord, that I'm having a hard time brushing my teeth -- will you help me? Thank you, Lord, that I'm not having any difficulties today; it all went like clockwork. Thank you, Lord, that my tremors are acting up today -- please show me Your plan, and make me patient. Lord, work your plan in me.

I'm still not one of those people who can say, "I'm glad God gave me this disease because ______ ," but I'm getting closer. Maybe God can make my heart beautiful in the midst of my physical infirmity. Maybe I can believe that some day soon -- maybe.

I'm going to get ready for work now, and try to practice this new truth.

It's always "thank you."