A Conversation with Myself

This post might seem a little strange, so I thought I would provide some background for readers. On my last visit to the Life Wellness Center, Yolanda gave me a homework assignment. She asked me to write a letter from the part of me that wants to get better, to the part of me that wants to procrastinate, cheat, and be lazy.

Here's the letter I turned in to Yolanda for homework. Warning:  it's pretty brutal!

"So, Dory...do you intend to make a permanent change, or do you just keep telling yourself that?

When you came back from medical leave, you said you were going to exercise twice a week. You said you were going to stop putting in overtime at work. You said you were going to change your diet permanently. You said so many things you didn't do. Why didn’t you do them? I believe you meant them, so there must be a disconnect between your intentions and your actions. Do you know where that comes from? You know very well that until you identify the disconnect, you can’t fix the problem.

Eating healthy from the garden

Do you not understand that your life is at stake here? it seems that you don’t truly believe that, because if you did, you would behave differently. You act like you are getting away with something, or that you are smart enough to cheat and still beat PD. I have news for you:  you aren’t getting away with anything. It’s just that you haven’t been called on yet to pay up. Payday is coming. Don’t you believe it? You SAY you do, but you act like you don’t. There’s an old saying about that: Actions speak louder than words.

Think of your cheating and skipping exercise class as racking up a big charge on a credit card. There WILL come a payday...nothing is free. When the bill collector comes calling, you won’t be able to pay. Your bill collector is named Parkinson’s Disease, and when you can’t pay, he will put you in a wheelchair. Wake up, Dory!

The Climb exercise class is held at Mt. Pleasant Christian Church

Your actions are killing  you, bite by bite, one stressful day at a time, and you don’t know it.

I know your work is becoming less stressful, and I’m glad about that, but you are counting on someone else to make your life better, and then trying to take credit as if you did it. It’s not enough. You have to create a formula that works for you, and then do it.  Work is just one piece of that formula.

You and Mike discussed how you know for a fact that Yolanda and Joshua were divinely appointed to help you. I know you know that, but why aren’t you acting like it? Why aren’t you listening and following direction you’ve been given from sources that are, by your own admission, God-given?

Where’s the disconnect? You MUST figure that out .. NOW. Time is up, clock is ticking, PD has his big wheelchair parked at your door.

Here’s a suggested plan:

1. determine priorities in life (That's pretty much going to be physical therapy, writing, exercise class, work, and church.)
2. live accordingly
3. weed out everything else, and don't feel bad about saying "No"
4. find a way to align your job with your priorities, or find a way to survive without the income and quit
5. Get close to God so you can hear Him when He whispers direction to you

Now go do it."

The Franklin farmer's market -- another place to find healthy food